By J. Bailey Molineux

There are certain myths about suicide which, if believed, could result in the death of a suicidal person.

Myth #1. People who talk about suicide do not commit suicide.

A research project conducted by the Suicide Prevention Center in Los Angeles several years ago found that 800 of 1000 persons who committed suicide left some definite warning beforehand of their intention to harm themselves.

Any hint or warning that a person is considering suicide must be heeded. If a friend or family member writes a suicide note, or talks about how he wants to die, or seems to be straightening out his affairs as if to prepare for death, take him seriously. Do not assume he is just trying to draw attention to himself or that as long as he talks about suicide, he won’t do it.

This is the most dangerous myth because to fail to heed the warning signs of suicide might be to miss the opportunity to save the life of a friend or loved one.

Myth #2. Suicidal people are fully intent on dying.

As was pointed out in my last article, this is not always so. Most suicidal persons do not want to die or have mixed feelings about living or dying. Only a few persons who attempt suicide are fully intent on destroying themselves.

Myth #3. Suicidal people are mentally ill.

A few people who attempt suicide are mentally ill but the vast majority are not. The suicidal person is usually very unhappy because she has suffered a recent loss of an important source of support or need satisfaction. She has lost her job, for example, or her spouse, or has been rejected by a friend or lover, or has failed to achieve an important goal.

In his despair, the person considering suicide is unable to see that things might improve, and so death looks to him like a simple, attractive solution to his problem. His suicide attempt is his way of saying to the world, I am unhappy yet see no answer to my problem except death. I really don’t want to die, but I don’t want to continue to endure my unhappy life either.

Myth #4. A suicidal person is suicidal forever.

This myth has to be rejected if we are to help the suicidal person. Many suicidal persons have gone on from their suicidal crises to live rich, satisfying, and productive lives. In fact, the suicidal crisis can be a turning point in a persons life if she decides she really doesn’t want to die but to live as fully as she can, and if this realization then motivates her to work constructively on her problems.

There is hope for the suicidal person. If we are to prevent an unnecessary death, we must do all we can to help him realize that he does not have to choose only between his present unhappiness and death. There is a third alternative involving the possibility of change and the relief of emotional pain.

Myth #5. Improvement means the suicidal risk is past.

Research has shown that many suicidal persons commit suicide within three months after they start to feel better. Two explanations have been offered to account for this strange paradox: either the suicidal person was so depressed before that she didn’t have the energy to kill herself or she started to feel better but then panicked when she thought she might feel worse again. So she killed herself rather than face the pain of her depression again.

Whichever explanation is right (probably both are), it is important that the suicidal person be seen in psychotherapy for several months after his suicide attempt. Therapy should be designed to help the suicidal person live that useful, full life he is capable of living, so he never again has to consider death as a solution to his problems.

About the Author: J. Bailey Molineux, a psychologist with Adult and Child Counseling, has incorporated many of his articles in a book, Loving Isn’t Easy, Isbn 1587410419, sold through bookstores everywhere or available directly from Selfhelpbooks.com. Copyright 2002, J. Bailey Molineux and Selfhelpbooks.com, all rights reserved. This article may be reprinted but must include authors copyright and website hyperlinks.